Day 12 of 84

That old feeling has returned. I don’t feel the motivation to go to the gym. I want to eat something sweet and fatty and creamy and…and…

Make it go away…. But that is my choice. It has always been my choice to make. So many times I would just like to be told what to do, what to eat. Then of course when someone does I want to rebel and say, “No, I know better. I can to it on my own” etc. etc. That old feeling. Round and round it goes.

This morning after checking out of the hotel we went to breakfast. I ordered a vegi omelet and seasonal fruit. Doing good right? Well I sat there eating even after I was full. My daughter asked if I liked what I ordered. I told her it was good just that I was just not hungry. I was full and still had half the omelet left on the plate. And I sat there trying to finish. Then she asked the ultimate question: “If you’re full why are you still eating?” My daughter, the smart one. Old habits, old ways: “Clean your plate”, “starving something somewhere would love to have your left over eggs”, “When I was young all I had to eat were pinto beans”, oops, TMI. Anyway. I pushed the plate away (yes with hesitation) but then any new habit starts with the first half eaten plate of food.

Tomorrow, water aerobics. Yes, back to a “normal” routine.